Burden
by Speed
Summary: A serious fic about the relationship between Tifa, Cloud, and Aeris. And how their friends support them through anything. Not Yaoi- you oughta read it just for that!
1. empty

Final Fantasy 7 belongs to Squaresoft.  
  
Cloud might just be the greatest golfer of all time. He and I are playing a 500 yard. par 7 course, and he just landed on the green, from the tee. At least, I think he landed on the tee. it's so damn far away I can't really see it.  
  
I say as much, and Tifa points the ball out to me. the pixel shows up nicely from where she is. a 514 yard drive, as I live and breathe. About 200 mph, the console informs me.  
  
Cloud, Tifa and I are playing a game of virtual golf at Golden Saucer, and I'm having the time of my life. Yuffie's watching Marlene play with a bunch of animatronic moogles, and even Vincent seems to be enjoying life. He's racking up the Gp's at the shooting gallery, because he promised my lucky little girl that he'd get her the stuffed moogle she wants so much, Mog. I'd have won it myself, but it seems they don't allow gun arms. I can somewhat understand the reasoning, but it's not as if I'd be doing much better than Vincent. I'm more of a burst man, myself.  
  
Now Cloud and Tifa are laughing, although I don't really know why. I'm sure it's at my expense though.  
  
"Whatcha laughing about, you spikey headed jerk?" I ask.  
  
Tifa's eyes shine bright. "Tain't nothing, sucka." she said, imitating my voice.  
  
"Tifa..." I start to growl.  
  
Cloud looked at me, a wide grin on his face. "You talk to yourself." he said.  
  
Suddenly, one of those spike-head moments starts. Not one of them where he's all freaking out psycho like, but one of those moments when it is super clear that he's the white stuff to the twinkie of our lives.  
  
Cloud's grin disappeared, and his eyes take on the faraway look they had most of the time on the 'jaunt' as Yuffie has taken to calling it.  
  
He's thinking about her.  
  
I can't say what I feel about that. I mean, I can understand him being all hung up on Aeris. She was a sweet, wonderful person. I loved her as much as I could have loved anyone in the short time that I knew her- she tried to take care of everyone, and did take care of my Marlene, for which I will be eternally grateful.  
  
But damn, sucka! Tifa's right there, Jackass!  
  
That might be the weirdest part. Tifa. I pry my gaze from crowbar-head and take a look at her face. It's got so much junk written all over it. A lot of it you can see. She's jealous. Ain't no woman loved a man as much as Tifa loves Can-Opener without getting jealous when he gets all faraway like that over some other woman. But she's not as jealous as I would be. Sheeit, I practically feel like I should get a little jealous just to get the average up. Not that, if I were a woman, I would be jealous of Cloud. I'd be after a big black icon of manliness such as myself. You gotta have something to hold on to, after all.  
  
Anyways, back to Tifa. Her face. She's jealous, but that's not even a big part of it. A lot of it is empathy. She feels for Prybar-skull, wants to wrap him up and mother him, a little. A part of her is also sad, because she did like Aeris as much as the rest of us. Maybe even more.  
  
I decide to snap out of it, and get things back on track. I'm not at Gold Saucer to have a Weep-fest.  
  
"Talkin' to myself is the only way to have a damn good conversation round' here."  
  
Cloud stops, and shakes his head for a second. The grin comes back, and his eyes spring back to life.  
  
He's laughing, and so is Tifa.  
  
But that mystery look, the one that's left when the sadness and empathy and all that... it's still on her face.  
  
Cloud decides that we should give up on golf. "Unless you guys want me to swing with my feet." he says.  
  
Tife punches him in the shoulder, and he grabs it, wincing through his smile. "Owwww.." he snickers.  
  
"I could play a little game with my feet, Cloud. Then we'll see about your little gloating business."  
  
I make noises that back up Tifa's threat. At this moment, despite all the sadness that has happened, I might be the happiest I have ever been in my life, especially as my little girl sweeps up into my arms, wielding the stuffed moogle, Mog, that Vincent has just won her, like a club. Yuffie slinks over, Vince right behind. Red's breaking away from some kind of dancing machine, where he and his four feet have set an all time record that has another digit from the last one. Yuffie's carrying his GP's.  
  
"So, whatch all wanna do now?" I ask.  
  
"Let's go get our fortune told!" Yuffie bursts happily.  
  
"I don't believe in none of that crap." I say.  
  
"I dwon beweeve in that cwap" my daughter adds.  
  
Tifa shoots me the look from the pit for teaching my daughter to talk like that. It's only crap, but she's only 4. Not a good rate to pick up swear words at.  
  
Yuffie, on the other hand, is in tears at my daughter's addition, and Vincent seems to be smiling, wonder of wonders. Red has some kind of advanced theory on language, and doesn't see anything wrong with any swear words. He chooses not to use them just because they're "Common."  
  
He could use a little bit of common, bein' so uncommon and all.  
  
"That sounds like a great idea. Come on, you big skeptic. It's all for fun anyways. even people who believe in it don't believe in the ones at the gold Saucer. All they tell you is stuff that makes you feel good."  
  
Tifa elbows Cloud, and whispers something in his ear. He turns cherry red, which is something I must admit I've never seen before.  
  
"Whoa, there, captain! Your ship appears to be takin' on a bit o the red! Here's a Bucket, to bail you out!" Yuffie says, throwing a cup of water on Cloud's face. Now he's all up in arms, making to chase Yuffie around the area for doing that to him, And Tifa's chasing Cloud, admonishing him not to run off after "That young hussy".  
  
Vincent and Red both look a little awkward. I put Marlene on Red's back, and that seems to give him something to throw his attention on, and when Marlene bats Vincent, he pays attention as well. "Hwussy!" she says.  
  
I turn to Vince with a world weary sigh. "It figures when Tifa's a bad influence, she's too busy for me to scold."  
  
He smiles at the crack. I live in constant amazement of what we have become from what we were. The credit goes all around, of course, but I know who I credit with the starting of it all.  
  
Thanks, Aeris. You did good. I wish you could be here with us now, even if all it did was cause a catfight with Tifa. Of course, you'd never catfight. And Tifa doesn't catfight. She FIGHTS.  
  
---  
  
This old woman's look is comical. She looks like she's straight out of a video game, or something. She's waving her hands over a crystal ball and muttering advice to the tune of 20 gp a pop.  
  
Tifa enters the tent, and the flap closes. She's in there for a little while, and she comes out. She's smiling, but I think there's something wrong.  
  
Cloud enters next, actually forward enough to pat Tifa on the backside as she walks by. Her hand snakes down and gives his a squeeze, which he returns, before he steps in.  
  
"Tifa!" Yuffie practically screams. "What did your say? Wanna hear what mine said?"  
  
Tifa smiles at Yuffie- it's paternal, and now I know something's wrong. "I'd rather not say. "  
  
Shitsville. that old bag must have said something about her and Cloud and maybe threw some blind speculation in and made Tifa think the whole Aeris n' Spikey n' her thing isn't gonna work out.  
  
I muscle in in front of Red. "I gotta talk to her, you don't mind, do ya?"  
  
"I am patient" Red replies. "Although it is kind of rude."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. You saw what happened."  
  
I feel kind of protective of them, you know? I've known Tifa for a while now, and she's always been good to me an' Marlene. It's only right that I should look after her. And Icepick, well, him too, I guess. Don't know why, but they're young, and I'm old, so i figure I'll give em a little looking after.  
  
Cloud steps out of the tent, and he's not even putting on any kind of show. He looks like he's seen a ghost. Which, after a fashion, is what I bet he saw. Fuck that bitch.  
  
I stomp into the tent, with no intention of getting my fortune told.  
  
"listen up, you meddling" I started, before I was abruptly cut off.  
  
"Sit down, Mr. Wallace. Marlene can hear you out there. It is, after all, only a tent."  
  
"How'd you know all that?"  
  
"Your future is murky at this point, although for you, more so than the young couple that came in before you, it looks very dark. There are trouble coming ahead, Mr. Wallace, and I'm afraid you are the least likely to survive."  
  
"What the hell, woman? What gibberish are you spoutin!"  
  
"There is going to be so much happening to you and your friends, now, all at the same time. I see you are used to difficult challenges, but this will heap upon itself. Each step will make the step before it harder. You will try and bear the burdens, but unfortunately, so much of the burden, both real and imagined, emotional and spiritual, will lay on that young couple. You can't really take the burden from them, so shore them up. Support them. Make them strong where they are weak. They will surprise you at every turn, both with their strengths where you had assumed them weak, and their weaknesses where you assumed them strong."  
  
I try to put a smile on my face as I walk out of the tent. I pick my daughter off of Red's shoulders, and try to smile, but I know that I'm just as transparent as the rest of them. But I am a little tougher, at least in one respect.  
  
"Yo, let's go check out the play." Tifa agrees, and we wait around just long enough to drag Red's ass outa there. He seems all right after dealing with Mrs. Spooky tooth.  
  
The play, as expected, is hilarious. Cloud and Tifa get all caught up in the play, and Tifa is hamming it up, causing the audience to rip out in laughter even when they're supposed to be quiet. Cloud is playing a great straight man, and the guys on stage, who are running this fantasy storytelling business, just don't know how to rein them in. Tifa's mentioned wanting to act before, and I must say, she's a pretty impressive stage presence, and I'm not just talking about her tits.  
  
Still, it does have to come to an end, even if it takes almost 15 minutes longer than usual because of the wailing that Cloud and Tifa do onstage, causing the audience to roar for more.  
  
I walk up the stairs at the side of the stage to meet them, along with a whole bunch of people that are asking for autographs, dates, n' stuff.  
  
"Great job, Tifa!" I yell.  
  
"Thanks, Barrett!" she replies over the din.  
  
"You and Spike-noggin did good."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
I look at all the attention they're getting, and I decide not to wait for them. I'll meet them in the morning.  
  
"Catch you at the hotel, Tifa." I say.  
  
"All right, Barrett!" she yells.  
  
My little girl and I make our way to the haunted hotel via one of those air tubes or whatever, which my daughter enjoys and I hate. We make our way up to our room, and I put Marlene to bed, and begin wonderin'. She sure was spooky.  
  
I wake up, leaning my chin on my gun arm. I must have fallen asleep durin' my ponderin'. I get up, and check my reflection. Right now, I'm especially glad that I've got a beard, so's I don't have 6 little dents in my face when I go outside for a walk, like I'm gonna do right now. Marlene's fast asleep, clutching at her moogle with a big smile on her face. I could watch her all night, but I got a hunch.  
  
So I take a walk.  
  
I make my way back down to the area where we got our fortunes told. Sure enough, there's Cloud. He doesn't see me, but I watch him. The fortuneteller we went to earlier is gone, but there's a little magic tent. He goes in there.  
  
He's in there for quite a while, and I'm about to give up and go back to sleep when Tifa pops out of the tube. She adjusts her skirt and looks around, presumably for Spike. She sees me, and saunters over.  
  
"Hey big guy, you're up early."  
  
"Late, you mean." I reply.  
  
She taps at her wrist as if to indicate a watch, which she isn't wearing. "It's after midnight, so it's morning."  
  
I give her a look. "That's just a fool mistake, which just shows that the guys what invented clocks don't know nothing about anything."  
  
Tife smiles a bit, and considers. "All right, point taken. Whatcha doin?"  
  
I consider for a bit, and decide to tell her the truth. "I went for a walk. I had a funny feeling after I got my fortune told, and I thought I might see Cloud. He's in that magic tent, over there."  
  
Tifa turns her head to the side a little. "Magic tent?"  
  
"Sho nuff." I reply. "I'm gonna talk to him when he gets out."  
  
"I'll wait with you, then. Someone who shall remain nameless took away my pillow while I was sleeping, and I've got some harsh words for him."  
  
I scoot over and let Tifa have a little of the bench.  
  
It's not much longer that Cloud comes out, with a very weird look on his face. Tifa gets up to go talk to him, but I pull her back down, as he walks over to the tube and disappears through it.  
  
"What'ja stop me for? He looked like he needed to talk."  
  
I look at her. "Somethin weird's goin on, Tifa. He can take care of himself. I think we should get some information out of that mgic show guy, first."  
  
I walk up to the little Tent, Tifa trailing behind, nervously looking at the tube Cloud disappeared to. It doesn't lead back to the hotel. I pick up the flap for myself and Tifa, and step inside.  
  
"Welcome to Norstein Bekkler's house of illusions" says Aeris.  
  
"AAAAAAHHH! What the hell you doin here!" I ask with a start, staring at Aeris. Tifa looks even more confused than I am.  
  
Aeris blinks. I notice that she's not actually looking at me or Tifa, just kind of facing that direction.  
  
"Aeris?" I ask, waving my hand. She doesn't respond.  
  
"I see you've met my doorperson. I'm sorry for you, but she's not actually alive."  
  
"That ain't funny, you cracka! You come out here, I wanna talk to you."  
  
It's all dark in the tent, and out comes this guy. He must be wearing all black except for his facemask and his huge gloves, cause I can't see the rest of him. He seems to float over to us.  
  
"I'm sorry about that ghoulish representation. You must be friends of the young man who was just in here."  
  
"You right about that" I say. Tifa just nods.  
  
He pauses for a moment. I take a look at the Aeris doll, and she blinks back. I'm totally unnerved.  
  
"Listen guy, what you gotta go and make something like that for, okay? We're all shook up. She was a good friend of ours, and now she's gone. Cloud... hell, anyone of us, probably, would do anything to bring her back, but she's just gone."  
  
Tifa's face fixed the mask with a face. It was as complex as many of he others, but this one was easy to read. It showed her love for Aeris as a person, and her willingness to do anything for her, even things that would hurt her- and how much sadness she was feeling seeing Aeris and with the effects on Cloud. In short, it showed her heart.  
  
The mask, which had turned to look like on of those sad theatre masks, looked pensive.  
  
"Anything?" he said. "How did she die?"  
  
"That's not a very nice question to ask." Tifa said. Her voice was choking a little.  
  
"I know." Bekkler said. "It's just that... well, nevermind."  
  
"That's right, nevermind. Now what the hell did you say to Cloud?"  
  
Bekkler seemed to deflate. "Nothing. Look, was it a violent death? Did she linger?"  
  
"Sheeeit. Cmon', Tifa, let's go find Cloud." I say, turning to leave.  
  
Tifa follows, and we just about reach the tent flap, walking past the ghoulish Aeris doll, when Bekkler's voice stops me.  
  
"I've known it to happen. Once. In a situation that reminds me a lot of yours."  
  
Tifa stopped, and faced the curtains, but I turned around.  
  
"Known what to happen?" I asked, not daring to think he meant what he did.  
  
"I don't know all the details, but I think that you might be able to do what she... no, they, did."  
  
I turned and stalked back up, face to face with the floating mask. "Do you understand what you're saying? Cause if this is some kinda joke, I'm gonna kill you."  
  
Bekkler seemed to consider my threat for a second, then disregard it. "It's no joke. It happened."  
  
A dam seemed to break inside of me, and now I was eager, sad, happy, overflowing with weird, opposite emotions all at once. Tifa had turned around, and was halfway between me and the door, one hand raised to her chin, looking anxiously.. hopeful?  
  
"Some young kids I knew. I was working a big celebration when I met them. They'd come into the tent, with their strange stuff, play games, the like. They were really happy.  
  
Then they came in one day, except the spiky haired kid, their leader, of sorts, was gone."  
  
I listened, waiting for more. Tifa was toeing her way closer.  
  
"They were in a sorry way, but they had some hope for them. She explained to me that he had been killed, and to bring him back, they needed a duplicate."  
  
"What for?" Tifa asked. That was the question on the tip of my tongue, that's for sure.  
  
"So that they wouldn't notice him disappearing when they grabbed him."  
  
Tifa and I looked at each other, confused. "what?" we asked in unison.  
  
Bekkler looked us over. "They traveled through time itself for their friend. They snatched him from the spot where he died, and put the copy in his place. Because of how he died, their past selves didn't notice."  
  
Tifa seemed to be even sadder. "But she.. her spirit... did some things, after she died. We can't just.. take her."  
  
"Could someone else do it for her? Someone that could do it without you noticing?"  
  
Tifa smiled sadly. "No." she said, with regret stained on her voice.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry to have gotten your hopes up. I hope you can be happy with the life your friend gave you, though."  
  
I walked out of the tent in a daze. I knew how Cloud felt. I hoped he hadn't heard what we just did.  
  
"I'm going to go find Cloud, Barrett. I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"All right." I said.  
  
---  
  
I hopped into the tube that he had gone through after he left Bekkler's tent. At this point, despite all that had been said, only one thing was on my mind; finding Cloud. I didn't know what Bekkler had said to him, but I could tell that he was in pain. His pain lanced my heart, and I wanted nothing more than to hold him tight and do everything I could to make the pain go away.  
  
I found him in the empty playhouse, staring blankly at the stage. I sat down next to him, and put my arm around his shoulders.  
  
"hey, Tiger."  
  
He turned to me and offered me a little smile. My heart leaped a little bit.  
  
"Thanks." I said.  
  
His eyebrows crunched together. "For what?" he asked.  
  
"For smiling for me." I said. His eyebrows drew back to their original positions, and he gave me a genuine smile. "Sorry. I don't feel too much like smiling, but for you..." he said, letting the implication hang. the smile faded, though.  
  
"So, what's going on?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing. I was just thinking."  
  
"about?" I asked.  
  
"How I'm feeling. I'm not feeling so good, and I don't know why."  
  
"Was it what that Bekkler guy said to you?" I say without thinking.  
  
"No. He didn't say much, just had a little game with mirrors. He made a me doll that was pretty good. "  
  
He didn't even seem to notice or care that I had been following him.  
  
"So, did you see her?" I ask, trying to be a little subtle.  
  
"Her? What do you mean?"  
  
I don't like to cause him pain, so I say "nevermind. Anyways, tell me about how you're feeling. Call me Dr. Tifa."  
  
He looks at me. "I just don't know. There's like a… a hole, inside of me. It's empty, and I think there should be something in it."  
  
All of a sudden I feel like the lowest being on earth. I hurt.  
  
It's her, that he's talking about, of course.  
  
"you mean Aeris?" I ask.  
  
"Well…" he replies, and I brace my heart for the worst, though I know it won't help.  
  
"Yes and no. It started when Aeris died, but I think it's more than just that." He said. His eyes aren't really focused, and he's looking off into the park that we're sitting by.  
  
My heart hurts, of course, but at this point I'm even more curious. Not just that? What's he mean by that?  
  
"Tifa, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this stuff. I'm sorry." He says, turning to me. He looks so sad, and so sorry. I hug him fiercely.  
  
"It's okay, Cloud." I say over his shoulder.  
  
He begins to cry. He's Cloud, the warrior who saved the planet from the greatest SOLDIER who ever lived, and he's crying over my shoulder. He keeps whispering that he's sorry, and all I can do is try and tell him it's all right. My heart aches for him, now. I love him.  
  
  
  
It's about fucking time Tifa got that jackass to settle down with her. He's a fucking moron. I mean, it's not as if she's missing anything at all. She's fucking nuts about him. She's nice, and funny, and takes care of him and shit. She can hang out like one of the guys. And as if that shit weren't enough, she's hotter than a turbine without oil. It's a fucking miracle she don't steam when she walks. Don't get me wrong- I don't have a thing for her- she's not my type, actually. But Fucking planet, that spikeheaded dumbfuck oughta be able to see what's right in front of his face. I mean sure, Aeris was special and all, and I miss her as much as anyone, but Tifa's special too, and she's right fucking there, dumbass.  
  
They've moved into a little place in Costa del Sol, that Cloud bought with some of the money we got from adventuring. It was the old Shinra exec digs, but since those fuckers are all dead, Cloud bought it. They're still a little more distant than I would be if I were that lucky fuck, but Tifa's getting to the bottom of him. I'll give him that- he's pretty fucking complex.  
  
Shera and I visit them about once a week, ever since I finished up the Tiny Bronco. Highwind, sadly, is done. All the kings' horses and all the kings' men couldn't slap that fucker together again.  
  
Still, he gets this faraway look on his face sometimes. I've tried to talk to him about it- I ain't no counselor, but I figured I owe it to Tiff to give it a shot. This time's no different, as I walk out onto their balcony, while Tifa anxiously watches Shera cook. Tifa's not so hot with the kitchen, it turns out. Whoopee. She'll learn.  
  
I light up my cigarette, and lean out into the warm night air next to him.  
  
"So, what's going on" I ask.  
  
"Nothing, Cid." He replies.  
  
"You're fucking hurting my feelings." I said.  
  
He turns to look at me, all serious. I give him a withering look.  
  
He seems to get the picture.  
  
"I just don't get you, Cloud. You should be one seriously fucking happy man."  
  
He looked at me with haunted eyes. "I know."  
  
"It's eating her alive." I said.  
  
He continued. "I know."  
  
"You can't hold on to her forever." I said, and I instantly regretted it. I'm not much one for regrets, either.  
  
"I know!" he said, bringing his fist down on the rail, and shattering a fist sized section out of it. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, Cid." He said.  
  
"No, it's all right. Shit, you can hit me next time. Seems a fucking shame to waste such a nice fucking rail. I can take a punch from a pansy like you anyways."  
  
He gives me the wry smile this time, and I chuckle.  
  
"So what's it all about, anyway?"  
  
he looks at me. The wind blows, and his hair moves, a little. "you're not gonna let that go, are you, old man."  
  
'Nope." I say, punctuating it with a drag on my cigarette.  
  
"I feel.. empty. There's something missing. I've talked about it with Tifa before. I know I should be happy with Tifa. I know I am happy with Tifa, in a major way. I feel so strongly for her. But yet I'm empty."  
  
  
  
I feel like shit. He's trying so hard to assure me that it's not my fault, that it's his problem, but I know what it is. I just don't compare to her.  
  
I've tried everything, but my relationship with Cloud just won't deepen. He's understanding, but he's stuck on this hole, that I can't fill, because I'm not her. I feel so sick I want to puke up my insides, and then puke some more. If only I were better. More like her. If only it could have been me instead of her.  
  
My thoughts hitch.  
  
"oh Cloud." I said aloud. "I love you so, so much."  
  
END  
  
Whew! Angst! Unfortunately for me, I'm not sure how well I'm doing it. It's hard for me, as I'm the least depressive person I know. That might be why I like it so much, because it never gets me down. Anyways, as for the Norstein Bekkler angle, only time will tell what will come out of that(heheheh). All I can say is that this is going to be a big and sad story, and that I'd like you to "bear witness with all your heart".  
  
If you've appreciated my story and want me to know, please drop me a line @ speed@olypen.com 


	2. heavy

Chapter 2:  
  
"Did you just call me 'Yuffers'?" I asked. He nods.  
  
"Yuffers? No fucking way. You want a piece of me?" I said, puffing up my chest to seem intimidating. "You afraid of the mighty Yuffie Kisaragi? I thought so!" I said as I banged my chest agains his, my arms splayed. He took a step or two backwards, and then he had the nerve to laugh at me. At me!  
  
"We could call you 'Yuffenstein'" Tifa adds.  
  
"Yuffzilla" Barrett offers.  
  
"The Yufferino" Cloud adds. I give him a glare as I think the most evil thoughts I could possibly manage at him, hoping they come through in the glare. They don't, because he smiles at me.  
  
"Yuff-Yuff Binks?" Cid opines. I glare even more than at Cloud, to the exact same reaction.  
  
"I think I prefer 'Yuffinator'" Nanaki adds. I stare at him. "you too? You all want a piece of me?"  
  
"now now, I was first" Reeve insists. "Yuffers."  
  
I scream and throw myself at him, but I'm not really angry. I don't like the nicknames one bit though, and I intend to let Reeve know through a little hair pulling. But just as I'm getting to the good part, the afore mentioned hair pulling, Vince pulls me out of my headlock and off of Reeve, who's collapsed on the floor laughing.  
  
"Now now, that's enough, Count Yuffula."  
  
I turn beet red, and everyone starts to laugh at me, dangling from Vince's iron grip. Even Reeve, face red from being choked, is crying on the ground. Red looks like he's trying to keep from laughing, but he's looking at Vince. I turn to Tifa, my only female partner in crime, and beg her with my eyes for help.  
  
The look she gives me lets me know that I can expect no help from her. So much for female camaraderie. I turn to Cloud, next. "Come on, Cloud, help a girl out here!" I say.  
  
He gives me a look, tilts his head towards Tifa, and replies "you know I can't, Yufferino. Not in public. What would Tifa think?" he says with a grin, and I hang my head in defeat as he pulls Tifa close. They look like they're doing a little better.  
  
"I fucking hate you people." I mutter.  
  
"That's why we love you so much, Yufftronaut." Shera adds.  
  
"Yuffles!" Marlene says. And everyone laughs.  
  
If impotent rage were explosive, I could go back in time and deal with our little Sephiroth problem by chucking just my pinky.  
  
But at the same time, I guess, I am a little bit happy.  
  
"It's settled then. Yuffles." Cloud says, and everyone laughs and agrees. Marlene is glowing with pride, and I can't help but give her a little smile for her success, even as I save my bitterest scowl for everyone else.  
  
Tifa might be laughing now, but she's not doing so good. Us Ninja can tell, after all. She's lost a little weight, but not in a good way or anything, and she looks a little tired all the time.  
  
I decide to find out what's going on, so I follow them back to their room at the hotel. Of course, for maximum inconvenience, they've chosen to stay on the second floor. But that's not a problem for an expert Ninja like me.  
  
Bracing myself in between the wall of the house and a nearby tree, I attune my ears for listening, by placing them right next to the doorframe. Ph33r my l33t N1nja skills.  
  
It's totally quiet, though, so I move up to take a look through the window. Cloud's sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and Tifa's behind him, giving him a hug. Not that I'm interested or anything, cause he's so not my type, but I wanna run in and make him feel better. They look so sad. I just want to run in there and make everything better in my own inimitable Ninja style, but I know that if Tifa can't fix it, I sure can't.  
  
I watch them for a while. I'm surprised, expecting myself to get bored, but I don't. I stay, watching them get ready for bed, and finally laying down and going to sleep. Cloud falls asleep first.  
  
Tifa stays up for quite a while, actually, then gets up. I hear the water running, and she comes out of the bathroom wiping her face. Walking over to the bed, she gives Cloud a tender kiss on the side of his forehead, then stands up. She nods to herself, and she suddenly… firms up. I know something's about to happen.  
  
She moves into the closet and grabs a bag, and throws into it a few sets of clothes, and grabs her gloves.  
  
I jump down from the tree and scurry off.  
  
I manage to be waiting by the door by the time Tifa comes out, nonchalantly swinging my legs.  
  
Tifa has the decency to seem guilty as she looks at me, all dressed up in my 'jaunt' gear, her all up in hers.  
  
"Ah, Yuffie! What are you doing up so late at night?'  
  
"I'm going on a little adventure" I say. "Wanna come?"  
  
Tifa gives me a smile. "I was too, but I bet we're going in different directions. It's too bad. Maybe next time."  
  
I catch a bit of sadness in the smile, as though she was implying she didn't intend to see me again for quite a while, maybe never.  
  
I call Shenanigans.  
  
"Ah, really? Which way you headed?" I ask.  
  
She pauses for a second. "Mideel, I guess."  
  
"That's the same way I'm headed!" I chirrup.  
  
"ah…by way of Bone Town." She says. I look at her like the retard she's just assumed I must be. But I get the hint.  
  
"oh, that's too bad. I guess next time, then." I say, and Tifa smiles genuinely. "Yeah. Next time for sure, Yuffenstein."  
  
I growl. I have a hard time not telling her I'm going to follow her now just to spite her, but I control myself. I can't control my grimace, though, and she laughs as she waves good bye. I wait just long enough for her to step out of sight…  
  
Then I bust out after her, running at Ninja speed, sneaking up alongside her on a ridge, my ninja night eyes keeping her well in my sight. Yuffenstein, indeed.  
  
  
  
  
  
I wake up the next morning to hear the sounds of destruction- Cloud, based on the pacing. I head on out to the yard, and find Cloud outside the front of the inn, practicing with his nailbat, busting pretty much everything within reach as he flies about practicing. I run back inside, grab my spear, and head on out back to the yard. Just as he rounds about my way, I bring up Venus and block his bat.  
  
He snaps out of it and faces me. "Why'd you stop me?"  
  
I make as if surveying the yard for the first time. Two trees have fallen victim, literally bludgeoned apart by repeated blows. A host of innocent lawn furniture, a picnic table, a yard umbrella… all destroyed.  
  
"So, what the FUCK is going on?" I demand.  
  
"Nothing." He responds. He's trying to sound normal, but his voice has a sullen tone.  
  
I turn towards the inn, and mutter "I'll try and talk to someone with a sense of reason. Hey, TIFA!" I yell. "You in there?"  
  
"She's gone." Cloud answers.  
  
"Aw, sheeit. You're all pissed off cause she's gone shopping or something? You think that gives you an excuse to fucking wreck my yard?"  
  
Cloud looks at me as though I've just fallen off the fucking turnip truck. "She's not shopping. She took all her gear. Yuffie's gone, too."  
  
I turn around towards the house just in time to see Shera step out on the porch. My eyes are questioning- she nods. Yuffie's probably gone- at least, she's not in our guest room, where she stays when we get together like this.  
  
"Aw, fuck. She leave a note or something?"  
  
"Yeah. She said she had a burden to bear."  
  
At this moment my peripheral vision catches Barret walking up. He stops dead to rights when Cloud says Barret. Something is going on, and I'm out of the fucking loop.  
  
"Were those her exact words?" Barret asks.  
  
"Yeah." Cloud says. "Why?"  
  
Barret stops. "Oh… that uh, means she's… uh, gonna be planning your birthday, spike."  
  
"my birthday was months ago, Barret." Cloud says.  
  
"Can't start too early, crowbar."  
  
Cloud gives him a skeptical look. I do too, but mine is querying.  
  
What the fuck is going on?  
  
We go in to the house for tea, which is of course, bullshit. Nobody but me n' Shera drink tea. Barret's strictly a coffee man, like I used to be before the ulcers. Cloud doesn't really like either.  
  
Cloud and I are both waiting, trying to get Barret to talk. I'm sure what Barret wants to say, he doesn't want to say in front of Cloud, but I can't just get rid of Cloud yet. He's sitting at the table, arms folded across his chest, staring hard enough tto bore a pair of fucking holes in Barret, who is looking more sheepish by the minute.  
  
I turn to Cloud. "Look, why don't you get Vincent, Reeve and Red down here."  
  
He looks at me, with that piercing green gaze. "Why would I want to do that." He says- not a question.  
  
"Because something's going on, and you're the fucking leader. Go do it already."  
  
He seems to consider it as a peace offering- he thinks I've sided with him. He nods to Barret. "I want to know everything when I come back."  
  
He steps off the porch, and I turn to Barret. "Spill it, now. What the fuck is going on."  
  
He tells me, and I can't hardly fucking believe a word of it. "Tifa?" I ask. "And what the fuck is Yuffie doing out after her?"  
  
He shrugs. "Maybe the brat is doin' her own damn thang. But all I know is that I don't like it. Maybe you and me should take care a' this."  
  
I look at him. "You're damn right you and me should be doing this.  
  
He smiles a bit. "All right. Tonight, I'll get Marlene and Red to keep him busy while you and me take off in the Bronc'.  
  
It's my turn to smile.  
  
"Now, what are you going to tell Cloud?"  
  
"oh, I got something that'll work. Spike'll be pissed as hell at me, but he'll buy it. Just remember that I'm full of it, all right?"  
  
I look at him in a new light. Maybe he does have just a little bit of what it takes to be leader after all.  
  
Cloud stomps back inside the house, the rest of the crew in tow. He strides up to the table, crosses his arms, and looks directly at Barret. "Now, What's going on?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Tifa's engaged in a little fight. I'm watching from a distance- she's a dynamo, rocking back and forth, switching easily between her two styles. Monsters are falling before her fist like dominoes before a bowling ball. I'm beginning to wonder whether I oughta have followed her after all when the opportunity I've been waiting for strikes.  
  
The monster pops out of the ground, and I can see at once that Tifa's in a little trouble. It's one of the Ice Rocs that have been popping up on the northern continent as of late, a troublesome beast if ever I saw one. Despite its huge size, it's nimble on the wing, and Tifa is suddenly pressed into a defensive game, waiting for the opportunity to lash out with her fists. I don't know why she's not busting out with the magic, but I leap out of snow on the cliff above her, hurling my Conformer rights at its head even as I draw a few Shuriken from my belt. Snapping back on the cord to the Conformer with my gauntleted hand, I hurl a few shuriken. They finish the deal that the Conformer started, riddling its head with pointy metal as I snatch the pointed weapon back into a safe grasp after it clangs off of my gauntlet. The ice roc falls onto the ground, and Tifa flies up with a leaping axe kick, a brutal move that more than puts the Roc out of its misery.  
  
Then she turns to me.  
  
"Hey, quit following me." I say.  
  
She stiffens up on me. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asks.  
  
"Uh, following you?" I reply.  
  
She gives me a look. "And why would you want to do that?"  
  
I give her a smug look. "Materia."  
  
"Bullshit. Cloud's got the best stuff, and I left most of mine with him anyways. Your collection is better than either of ours, anyways."  
  
"I, uh, happened to be going the same way?" I try.  
  
"To where?"  
  
"Uh, icicle village." I say. It's the only place I know up here.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I wanna go snowboarding." I try.  
  
"you hate snowboarding. You said it ties your ninja feet together."  
  
"oh yeah. Well, I was just going for a walk."  
  
"It's like 200 miles from where we were!"  
  
" I like the exercise." I say.  
  
She rolls her eyes. "You hate exercise."  
  
"Yeah, but I gotta have it to maintain my superior Ninja skills. Now admit it, you're glad I'm here." I say with a smile.  
  
"No, I'm not!"  
  
"Oh yes you are. You're just not admitting it."  
  
She throws herhands up. "Don't follow me!" she says, stalking off. This time, I just follow her, about three or four steps behind. Whatever's going on, I ain't just gonna let it slide by like this. I'm not exactly sure when I started to care, but it's a little too late now.  
  
---  
  
"Well, you see, last night, Tifa and I had a little talk." Barret says.  
  
Cloud looks on. "Go on."  
  
"And I sorta… well, I said that I loved her."  
  
Shocked faces fucking fly onto everyone in the room. Shera drops a fucking tray, and a gun falls out of Vince's jacket onto the ground. Fuck.  
  
Cloud looks a little pissed off, but less than I might have thought. "And?" he says.  
  
"She said she wanted to leave, so that she wouldn't come between us or nothin'. I told her that was nonsense, that it would be me to leave. She loves you, Spike."  
  
He seems a little placated, but not much- he already knew that. "So why the fuck did she leave?" he asks.  
  
"I guess she decided she was less important or something. Some dumb woman shit. Listen, Cloud, I'll just get Cid to take me out to where she is. I overstepped the line, and I'm real sorry. She'll get on the plane, I'll get off, and everyone will be happy.  
  
I expect Cloud to say something in agreement, but he doesn't.  
  
"No. You get back on the plane too. We're not children. We can deal with our problems. You can't just leave our group, even if you got your heart a little broken. I wouldn't."  
  
"But Cloud.."  
  
"No buts. You're both coming back. And I'm going with you."  
  
"No." I say. "This is between Barret and Marlene. Let him take care of it."  
  
"It's my responsibility, Cloud. I fucked up, I need to make it right. I can't go on if I don't." Barret says.  
  
"I agree that the burden should lay with Barret. If you're not too jealous, I think Barret's plan is appropriate."  
  
I heave a sigh, as Cloud nods, then stalks out. Everyone else stays, staring at Barret.  
  
"What?" he asks.  
  
  
  
I'm warming up the Bronco when Barret and Shera come out, Shera with my stuff, Barret with his.  
  
"That was some fucking lie." I said. Shera drops my stuff.  
  
"Sheeit, Cid. No one was fucking supposed to know. Now you gone and spoiled it."  
  
I roll my eyes. "Shera can keep a fucking secret. I figger she deserves to know."  
  
Shera is wide eyed, picking up my bag. She don't know what to say, which is pretty much what I expect.  
  
"Hey, where's Marlene? If you or Tifa ain't watching her, who's got her?" Barret asks.  
  
"Oh, Cloud's got her." She says. "Marlene asked. I didn't see any reason for me to say no."  
  
"Listen, Shera. I ain't got nothin' for Tifa, but you can't let Spike know, okay? I'm already kinda… involved, though, so try not to let this get any more spread out than you have to, okay?"  
  
Shera nods, blankly, then gives a conspiratorial grin. "I thought so…"  
  
"You didn't think nothin', as usual." I said to her. She gives me an evil glare, and I smile back. I'm so much happier now that she gives some back to me.  
  
"That makes you quite the pair, don't it." Barret says, poking me with the gun arm. "You ain't much of a thinker neither."  
  
I give him a glare now. "Shut it, or I'll put all your food in pickle jars."  
  
Now we're glaring back and forth. He's not exactly my best friend, but we do got senses of humor in common.  
  
"gentlemen, I suggest you get going."  
  
I hop in, and Barret does too. He grabs my bag from Shera, and she waves as I taxi, then take off.  
  
"So, where we going?"  
  
pause.  
  
"Sheeit, I don't gotta clue."  
  
"What the fuck? You made me take off when you don't gotta clue?"  
  
"Aw, shut up. We shoulda done what we did on any account. "  
  
I pause, and start smoking. This is, of course, a terrible idea on a plane, but I fucking need a smoke right now.  
  
After a few puffs, I blow one into Barret's face, which has the desired affect of making him feel like a dumbass.  
  
"I suppose we better cut Tifa off and go see Bekkler." 


End file.
